Faltering in the East

2007-05-17T00:50:00.000-07:00

I always LOVE to hear that I'm part of a trend, and there are millions of other people like me.
http://money.cnn.com/magazines/fortune/fortune_archive/2007/05/28/100033934/index.htm
But that's probably just because I'm young and narcissistic.

2007-04-03T18:57:00.000-07:00

An anecdote.

So at 6:00 on Saturday Frank and I got a call from the woman who works in our foreign affairs office, Ms. Cao. [She's a batty creature if there ever was one; her grasp of the English language is strange, and for China that's saying something, and she operates in a somewhat vaguely selfish but charming way in her work.] Actually, she made the Italian student Giulia call us, because, well, that's Ms. Cao. Giulia, on behalf of Ms. Cao invited us to play the following morning at 8:30. She wouldn't tell Giulia what the plan was, only that a friend of hers had invited the four of us (We two Americans, Norway, and Italy) out to play. I said okay because most of the time an invitation of that sort results in interesting happenings. Frank said no because he was going to go to church since it was Palm Sunday and it's his sovereign right as an adult to decide whereabouts he would like to go and when.
We then went to our friends' Chris and Lindsay's apartment for the evening to delight in some Chris-cooked "Italian pasta" and a rollicking game of Trivial Pursuit. Despite the fact that I rather despise the game (sorry chris and lindsay if you're reading. I just didn't know how to say it!) and make no pretense at having anything like an assortment of trivial knowledge, I got a few lucky rolls and some easy questions and was, dare I say, dominating for a time. Luck doesn't win out over consistent random fact collection, however, and Frank ultimately came back from behind and slaughtered us all ruthlessly. After that we dragged our trivially battered bodies to bed.
The next morning, rising and shining, I headed to the school gate to meet the young students and the notorious Miss. Frank went to church. Ms. Cao came, several other professional looking people in tow. She said,"We will wait for Frank. I found him. (sheepish grin.)"... We walked toward the church and out popped Frank, holding a palm frond and looking a bit flustered. Then we piled into several cars, drove away, waited somewhere, acquired a few more professional looking people with ah! biiig cameras around their necks and in their hip messenger bags.
In the car, we sat four in the back seat, meaning I was crunched in front of everyone's legs. At this point, life was looking less than ideal, as I coughed up the same phlegm I'd been working on for two weeks, reflected on what little sleep I had, tried to revive my entire left side due to the poor circulation in my position and Ms. Cao and Giulia happily chatted away in Chinese too fast and complicated for me to understand. Also, where were we going? Who were these mysterious strangers, forcing me to sit in such a dubiously safe position, invalid as I am, for forty five minutes? Waking me up when I agreed to wake up? Absurd.

What made the carride slightly better was the following exchange between Cao the enforcer and Frank:
Cao: Frank, picnic.
Frank:...Uhhh, Okay?
Cao: You don't like picnic???
I later surmised that she was attempting to gauge his interest in said event, should it happen to take place later that afternoon. Since his response was befuddled and not wildly enthusiastic, she concluded quickly that he was transmitting his utter disdain for the whole concept of picnics. I tend to think she has a complete double standard for Chinese and English, which prevented her from seeing how awkward saying something so nonsequitor would be. I believe the standard is thus: that Chinese is a language and English is not.

Arrival! At a temple at the base of Lushan, the beauty of which the aforementioned friends had aforely mentioned several times. Then... THEN! The pros took many pictures. Of us. Walk this way, stand this way, touch the giant dragon pillar and act natural. We still don't know why. It's one of those somethings that at the beginning of my stay in China might have been adventuresome, intriguing, exciting, but is now a bit tiresome. Add in the fact that Ms. Cao literally pulled Frank out of church (his thoughts: "I don't really mind..."The mild mannered sonofagun!) and lied to get us there because, probably, she KNEW we wouldn't like it and we were all pretty put off. The even more fun thing about situations like this in China is that They put you in a position where to get out of it you'd have to throw a temper tantrum. There's no adult way to calmly say, no, I would not like to be a model for a day for people I don't know when the pictures go God knows where. Millions of foreigners have probably been trapped in just such a way, innocently thinking they're going to play badminton in the rain or frolic with pandas or something, but NOOO! Head at forty five degrees, stand just so, try not to be so fat, and CLICK! Your picture's in some Waiguoren database for all eternity. They always saayyy they'll give you a photo cd, but nooo.
I guess it's in the fine print of your visa application. "Must submit to occasionally being whisked away with the promise of a free meal to be a racial celebrity no matter the large or small inconvenience to yourself or squirmishness with being lensed from all angles."
But the free meal this time justified it all. We ate with the monks. To do this, you must eat silently, pray before you eat, and have Chinese friends to get you into the dining room. It was delicious, low in oil, vegetarian food, but not only was it some of the best tasting food I've had here (that's saying something) I ate as a woman transformed. I was, sincerely, grateful for every bite, newly grateful that I have been allowed to enjoy all that I have in my life and thankful for the real sorrows of which I've been deprived. The food attendants graciously wrote and translated the prayer we said, and said they hoped we would be lucky every day. I only hope they'll greet me again when I come back.
Lunch was over, hundreds of pictures taken, so the professional looking, and I must admit, respectful people were done with us. After all, it wasn't they who lied to us... But let me not spoil the image I've painted of my newfound perspective. It was an okay day. Hanging out with the students is never bad (they're two of the coolest teenagers I know, and that's saying something) and we got to drink sacred spring water that makes you clevererer. er.
All in all, it was a typical day in China.

2007-03-11T20:27:00.000-07:00

On another note:

http://www.china.org.cn/english/2007lh/202397.htm

Why didn't we think of this EARLIER??

2007-03-11T20:16:00.000-07:00

http://www.china.org.cn/english/news/202452.htm

2007-03-10T20:41:00.000-08:00

Dude. I've been here for six and a half months, and I've learned a lot. Something I was not expecting to learn was that ... Harry Potter is an existential tour de force. In every movie, and every book, at every turn in his young wizarding career, JK Rowling forces him to face his destiny. Always, Harry is looking for a new guardian, a new God, a new place to put his attempts at faith. So are we as the readers, and so are we in life. All he wants from the first book is to gaze at himself and his parents in the mirror that shows you what you want to see. He wants the reassurance that someone is watching over him, that someone is behind him, that if he drops the ball, good will nonetheless come out on top.
BUT NOooooo, POTTER! As I just watched in the third movie, Hermione says, "Listen to me, Harry, no one is coming," as the young "chosen one" waits for the ghost of his father to rescue himself from the Dementor's demented kiss of death. JK rarely, if ever, gives Harry the assurance he craves outside of himself and his own personal responsibilities. Hence, he is a child, but forced by the currents of life to face his existential role, his life's burden, at an extraordinarily young age. Hence, he's a bit angsty when the adults who are supposed to protect him actually hurt him by depriving him of vital information in the fifth book, hence, he begins Dumbledore's Army and steps up. Hence-- beware of spoiler-- Rowling kills Dumbledore in the sixth book. If she wants to emphasize her main theme, she has no choice, for she must deprive Harry of his last remaining possible guardian/protector/last line of defense. For her to say what she wants to say (I think) she has to remove that last shred of doubt in his mind that he will be the only person on whom he can really, truly rely.
Did JK Rowling have to face a similar truth while she was allegedly homeless and living in her car? Does she expect this same harsh reality to befall the youth of today? Obviously in other ways she means to write a timeless myth, good vs. evil, man's capacity for both, but I suggest that in the way I've mentioned previously, she deviates from the formula, and for that, I think I respect her more. I believe that her writing style has more faithfully demonstrated her adherence to this particular theme than I previously suspected. I thought she was just playing with dark themes that she didn't explore with enough nuance, and therefore emotionally manipulating her young (and old, teehee) audience for no good artistic reason. So at least from my corner, JK, your work is validated. I should send her a note informing her as much. Perhaps she will have a little party.

Where does this come from? So about me. I have a lot of time on my hands. I've watched a lot of movies, and read a lot of books, though not as many as I'd like. I'm teaching a lot of classes, and though I am here in China for a reason it's turning out to be a hell of a lot different from what I previously suspected. Life here has a lot fewer of the random distractions and yes, culturally meaningful fillers that life in the US provides. It's not an existential dilemma in total... a bleak, murderous experience of the sort can be found elsewhere in the world at this time...(...) but it's a mundane challenge, a laughable one. I'm not forced to reach into the deepest parts of my character to sustain myself against the ungodly lack of bread, it's not a rigorous task to maintain good humor in the face of the fact that I'm sometimes cold.
So, what now? I'm the type who will take the challenges in life seriously regardless of their severity, this I know. What does it take to fight against a mediocre opponent such as this? I have a frightening amount of time in which to dwell on it, make fun of it, and come to conclusions. The romantic in me wishes I could fight the good fight, instead of the "maaaaannn, I miss Dr. Pepper, and a button fell off of my shirt again" plight of '07. I guess I could TURN these little annoyances into the end of the world, and don't think I haven't tried, but for the most part the adventure of this experience comes in sporadic small and large doses. I have to recognize how little power I have to change my environment, work with what I have to the best of my ability, and hopefully use this time in a productive fashion.
Don't be fooled yourselves, ye admirers of this fantastic opportunity, what this experience forces you to recognize about real life is not necessarily the big, amazing, cool things but the .... boring shit. China is not the Harry Potter of teaching abroad, it's the ... sideways, or the little miss sunshine, or the what's eating gilbert grape. Except really, truly, the only control I have is my own attitude, because this country really does not care about little old me. Existential in a way? It's true. Not worth a blog post a minute? Yeeaahhh, you could say that.
So while I leave you in the dark about many of the intellectually fascinating cultural moments, the big moments of real adventure, my time with my boyfriend and all the self education I've been doing on the side... I'm also not mentioning a lot of freaking down time, where it's just me and my thoughts, me and the internet, me and a game of solitaire, me slowly losing whatever social skills I've acquired and a lot of sighing a bemoaning a really ... notsobadsortofokaybutkindaannoyingright?... something.

Now, I charge you, and I am charged, and JK Rowling charges, and Harry is charged -- realize fully just what you have. All the powers and all the limitations, the duties and the doesn't matterses. I'm gonna go sew buttons.

2006-10-18T19:55:00.001-07:00

We got a phone!!! A landline in our hallway. Our contact lady, hereafter known as Ms. Cao, "forgot" to get one for us previously. We really are at the mercy of others' whim and fancy here, a phone, which alters our entire universe, is just one little note on her list of things to do. Ahhh, well, we can call and be called, that's the important thing.

2006-10-18T19:55:00.000-07:00

Greetings, friends and family. I started this blog to tell you about life in China, so that mass emails would not be necessary. I will try to post pictures as I have time and space. I hope you enjoy.

2006-10-15T00:11:00.000-07:00

It's aliiiiiiiiiiiiive!